We had just returned from two weeks serving with Hasten‘s co-laborers in our beloved Nepal and (although we were exhausted and jet-lagged) felt led to go.
Obeying even When Tired
Thank God we did! Even when you are tired, always listen closely for the Holy Spirit’s nudges. Often, when I’ve felt too-tired or too-uninterested in going to something I felt the Holy Spirit was leading me to, when I did drag myself to go, something life changing happened. It’s not that God wants us to be tired, it’s that the very act of obedience and hunger opens us up to miracles!
This time was a prime example.
Session after session was awesome! From the opening worship to Todd White’s testimonies, to the entire next day, to the final night when the Holy Spirit came upon me in a way that I haven’t experienced since I was 17.
During the second day sessions, I was SO tired that I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. Jet lag, fighting off a cold, and pure exhaustion from weeks of travel and work was seemingly intensified. In between sessions we ran to our hotel room, grabbed a fifteen-minute nap, and headed back for Eric Gilmore and Brian Guerin‘s session.
The Sacred Session
Eric is anointed with the ability to explain in a very poetic style the intimate love of God, and He did an amazing job. After Eric’s session, the Holy Spirit fell and Brian Guerin, with expert precision and wisdom, pretty much just stood at the pulpit and said nothing for about twenty or thirty minutes. Wails and laughter and joyful songs filled the place as the Holy Spirit kissed his children. It was glorious.
During this time, I was on my face, hidden halfway under a pew, worshipping. Suddenly, I felt the (how do I describe it?!) irresistible, inexplicable, delicious, like breathe after a deep plunge presence of God overshadow me. Then, a spiritual vision, a vivid image, an imagination so strong that I wasn’t imagining it in my head, but rather I was taken into it, appeared in my mind. I didn’t see this with my physical eyes – it was in the spirit.
A Vision of Jesus
I was standing in a place with no characteristics other than a hill in front of me. Then, over that hill, came Jesus, but He was not the Jesus you probably just imagined. He was a warrior draped in a dancing robe (the Holy Spirit), carrying a sword in one hand. His flowing, living robe was splattered with blood. He moved like a kung-fu superhero, with perfect Grace but aggressive posture, swaying, flying, crouching, launching, all in my direction. His eyes were human but lit with a fire from inside, and they were locked, undeterred, onto me.
And He came, in an instant, cutting through a host of faceless shadows with His sword, until he gracefully landed into a crouch, just in front of me and slightly to my right.
At that moment, I was praying, “Lord, don’t pass me by! Don’t pass me by to use someone else! Use me, Lord. Send me, Lord!”
And then I saw Him. His eyes locked on me. His free right hand reached over and set on my mid-back. I suddenly understood. This entire fight, the blood on his robe, the fire in His eyes, was all for me.
“Son, you misunderstand me, after all these years,” he said. “You misunderstand who I am.”
I started to sob, in the real world, tears flowing, and these words set themselves on me like a blanket.
“You misunderstand me. Don’t you know, Dustan? I could NEVER pass YOU by! I could NEVER pass YOU by! I could NEVER pass YOU by!”
The words passed like electricity through my mind and struck my heart.
“I could NEVER pass YOU by.”
I instantly understood what these words meant. They meant: I LOVE you. I LOVE that you love me and obey me. I died for you! I chose you! You didn’t find me, I found you! I cannot resist you. I bleed for you. I hunt you to rescue you. I will use you to the full extent that you will surrender to me. I love you! I could NEVER resist stopping for you!
It took a while to recover, but once I did, I realize that this encounter had changed something down deep in me. One touch, one word from the Holy Spirit, from Jesus, and years of pain can be undone.
I didn’t feel a fear of missing out anymore. I didn’t feel any comparisons in my heart to others. I didn’t feel like I wasn’t enough. I didn’t feel like I didn’t belong.
Jesus cut through hell to rescue us that love Him. His eyes of fire are locked on us. The blood on His robe is His own that He shed to rescue us.Jesus cut through hell to rescue us that love Him. His eyes of fire are locked on us. The blood on His robe is His own that He shed to rescue us. Click To Tweet
I am loved. I am chosen. And the only limits I (we) have are the ones that grow from the lies we believe.
In one Holy moment, Jesus set me from something that I have struggled with for alot of my life and today and tomorrow will be the proof of it. I have always understood Jesus’ love for me. We serve Him with all our hearts. We love Him and know that we didn’t earn our salvation, but this was yet another level of the knowledge of God that is transforming our lives!
Jesus cut through hell to rescue those who would love God. He LOVES you! He chose you! He would NEVER pass you by!